insomnia

I cannot sleep.

Running through my mind is all the things I do not know.  How can they be running through my mind if I don’t know them?  I do not know.

The few words and phrases I can mangle in Mandarin are also marching around my weary mind.

Ne hao Hello

Ne hao ma Hello, how are you?

Hen hao, xi xi ni I am good thank you.

Yi one

Er two

Shi kwai ‘d ten dollars

A useful collection.  And it seems that my flight arrives at an inconvenient hour which means, I think, that I will not be picked up from the airport.  I don’t even know where I should be taken if it eventuates I have to take a taxi.  How I will take a taxi to anywhere with my exceptionally limited vocabulary, I do not know.  I do not even know what this really means as I have had no further correspondence from my work to tell me what the arrangements are now.

Oh well.  Adventure I wanted.

I have been preparing for my departure these last couple of weeks by closing accounts and changing addresses and all those horrible little life administration things.  The hardest part has been remembering what I need to close, redirect, settle etc.  I always imagine that I will make a list of such things in each new place I find myself and never have I made the imagining reality.

Tomorrow and Sunday are my last days in which I have ‘things to do’.  Monday and Tuesday will be spent doing as little as possible and probably tying up loose ends to things I have forgotten about at this stage in the game.

Somebody asked me today if I am nervous.  I actually don’t think that I am.  I am not nonchalant but I am quite certain.  Very difficult to find the right word to describe how I actually feel about this venture.  Having moved countries before, there are a lot of things that I am expecting – such as massive language barriers and things working in ways that I cannot understand immediately and who people are – but even though I might be expecting these things, they will still be difficult or confronting or frustrating.  However, the one thing I can absolutely count on is this: no matter what, there is always someone willing to help you out and most people fall into this category.  My hope for myself is that I do to.

About Birdie in Beijing

Live in Beijing from 2012 til .... who knows? Right now, it suits me just fine.
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