This is not a joke. This is a story of my forays into health care in China.
For a long time now I have had a sore foot, not sore enough to stop me walking around but sore enough to make me limp and curse it at the end of the day when it was achy and it wasn’t swollen so it looked like nothing was wrong. It is very tender to the touch. Anyway, I finally went to the doctor who referred me to the orthopedic surgeon, which felt like overkill but I’ve got superb health insurance, so I went.
The orthopedic surgeon turned out to be a charming man who spent ages looking and prodding and x-raying and all the rest and then decided that he would give me a topical treatment for what is apparently two bones rubbing because my transverse arch has fallen. I was bemused by this but was wanting to go join my mates for a drink so I complied nicely. Then he gave me the treatment. It was Chinese medicine. And amounted to a large sticky plaster impregnated with something smelly. If I was bemused before, I was now wanting to laugh.
So, I shoved the treatment in my bag and waltzed off to have a drink. When I got home I put the plaster on my foot and was pleasantly surprised by the cool, tingling sensation and went to sleep without another thought about it.
In the morning I took the plaster off and it took with it a layer of dead skin from the sole of my foot but left the top skin intact. Then I prodded at it. Absolutely NO pain. So I stood on it and walked about. Nothing. Foot back to normal. Truly astonishing. I cannot believe it even though it is my foot….
The dentist. Right, so we were offered free teeth cleaning by this dental clinic and I took up the offer. Yesterday I had the teeth cleaned. I was expecting them to tell me I needed all this work because it has been about 18 years since I last went to the dentist. Yes, 18 years.
So, I was a little concerned. Ok, a lot concerned.
The dentist starts poking around and spends what I thought was an exceptionally long time studying this mouth of mine. Then he sat back and said:
“Very good dental hygiene. I don’t know what I can do to clean your teeth.”
Needless to say, I laughed.